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Rats have a bad reputation, and in the case of Windsor Rat, it’s well-deserved. He’s a player’s player and kind of a jerk, but his adoring fans don’t seem to mind. With Windsor, there’s no ambiguity – you know what you’re getting. As long as you don’t believe a word he says or take what he says personally, you’ll love him – and everybody does!

As to the rat thing, don’t let it fool you. No garbage for Windsor’s breakfast, lunch or dinner. His favorite meal is a 3-finger shot of The Macallan 18 and a big ol’ stinky Cohiba. Slinking through sewers and living in some dingy, trash-strewn den? Not our man Windsor! He’s fastidious to a fault, from his manicured loins to his Gucci Gazelles, and his house is surprisingly clean for a bachelor with no obvious source of employment.

Some people think he’s into crypto, but Windsor is famously bad with money.The few jobs he’s known to have held didn’t last because Windsor lives in a time zone of his own. Depending on the time of year, Windsor time is either six to eight hours behind or 12 hours ahead.

Deep down, Windsor is still a rat. No matter the time of year, nighttime is the right time for him. In fact, very few people have seen him during the day. He’s more a cat person for the same reason (despite the obvious inherent dangers of a rat owning a cat). Being a rat, he also can’t help himself when it comes to collecting things – records (before they were cool), comics (still waiting for that to be cool), and first-edition Orwells (back when it was still fiction), just to name a few…